Chances are, you don’t really like how you live your life.
Which is okay, there are good reasons for it, and we are not exactly set up for success in this late-stage capitalism society of ours. But if you read this letter, I’m going to assume you want your life to be fulfilling, intuitive, and effortless.
I felt this frustration about my life for a long time, too, like there was no chance in hell that I’d turn out fulfilled or at peace. But the truth is, we have a very good chance of loving our choices, loving our options, and really enjoying life fully with no regrets.
We, humans, are powerful creatures. We are so powerful that, if we truly believe it, we can become utterly powerless. We can also do the opposite, though; you can believe yourself to be exactly what you want to become, and it will manifest in material form right in front of you in due time.
Now, what reasons do we have for not liking our lives? Well, there are obviously many nuances and factors that explain why, but I could bet a whole lot that this letter describes one of them.
I’ll admit, this may get a little complex, so strap in and focus; I believe that this will be a very important letter for you, my friend. Also, I encourage you to read the whole letter, but if you are low on time or just want the practical stuff, I put action steps in the last section of the letter.
Enjoy.
Having/Getting/Chasing
A hollow life ensues a mindset that’s all about having
We are very predictable in our behavior. Often, we try to fit into a certain way of doing things. We, more often than not, follow our environment, and this creates a lot of potential problems. Our way of doing things is characterized by one single framework or belief, but it is a result of decades of conditioning that humans have been through.
So following that framework, as everybody around you does, will result in you leading a life like everybody else. And as we see all around, “everybody else” is not doing very well for themselves. Why they are not doing well is a direct result of conditioning, trauma, and our closed minds refusing development.
Anyways, the framework I’m going to be talking about, and the one I want you to understand, is:
Have - Do - Be
What does this framework really mean? Well, it follows the importance we put on each of those values, and thus their function too:
Most important: Having
Important - Doing
Non-important - Being
Of course, everybody who follows this is not aware of it, but subconsciously, they follow it precisely. You’re only aware of it if you have moved, or are moving, past it towards a more holistic way of living and can see how your worldview has changed.
We live in a generation where people try tirelessly to have material things, have experiences, have love, have wealth, etc. We always need to earn more, gain this, gain that, win this, acquire that; if I don’t possess this, I can’t live happily.
A whole generation of people putting their focus on having first, followed by hollow action that, when fulfilled, reveals the emptiness behind it. The action from the desire to have is mindless, devoid of love, driven by our trauma and conditional selves, fueled by the need for recognition, love, praise, and respect.
Note that this is who we are in society after centuries of trauma and conditioning (But of course, also development). We have been taught to live like this, and so all around us are reminders that life could be better if you only get this, because that’s how everybody thinks. If I get this, more of that, less of this, then life will surely get better, right?
Who we become through years of conditioning, hustle culture, and attachments looks something like this:
Have: Primary focus: Having something tangible. The highest importance is placed on having, getting, chasing, and attaching yourself to the outcome. The focus is on having material things; lasting love feels out of reach, but it is something you work tirelessly to get.
Do: Action from the focus of having, aimed at the true desired state: Action from the desire to have is hollow and futile. It will sometimes result in getting the things you so desire, but it comes through fighting yourself and the world, which in itself is draining to the soul and results in emptiness when attained.
Be: True desired state: This is how being is skewed in the conditioned mind: “I want to have this (having), so I must do this (action) to have that, so I can be at peace (being) knowing I now have that. What I do not know is that what I want always changes when what I want is either fulfilled or eliminated, so true being and peace are never reached”. And the interesting part is, if you got what you wanted, peace is often replaced by anxiety for fear of losing the thing that brought you peace in the first place. In truth, being was always there, with or without the having. Underlying, our true desires are safety and love, but we don’t realize that love and safety are already wrapped around us everywhere, all the time.
This is who we are naturally, without the conditioning of having before being and the attachments that come with it:
Be: Natural state of being: The desired state comes naturally, and you feel peace and love without having to get, chase, attach, or control. This is where the magic happens as your vision/purpose becomes clear, and inspiration from that place is intuitive and natural. You get a loving desire to act on your passions and vision from this place. You don’t become an action-less meditating monk (not that that’s wrong in any way), but a passion-driven force of nature.
Do: Natural action from being: Natural intuition guides your vision, so you are able to act intuitively and lovingly, knowing your direction.
Have: A positive byproduct of loving action: In due time, you get the love without attachments, the peace without the chase, and material things without control, frantic chasing, or high amounts of importance to it.
Important note: When you’ve channeled action from a place of being, you can become frantic about controlling situations for my desired outcome. That’s a trigger like I talked about in my last letter. Even this “holistic framework” can work against you if you are not aware of your negative beliefs. So I encourage you to regulate if you see yourself becoming too attached to having instead of just letting yourself be with no attachments.
The question then becomes, how do we lessen the importance we put on having, focus on being and peace, and learn to act from that place?
Intermission: Lessons in importance
The universe naturally seeks balance, and it will always take the easier route
(Note that you can replace “universe” with God, love, or anything you prefer)
We, as humans, often create imbalance, which the universe naturally seeks to eliminate. This imbalance is created by excess importance put on things, feelings, and experiences.
So when we put importance on things, we create an imbalance in the universe, which it naturally seeks to turn into balance in the easiest way possible. When importance is placed on having, balance is hijacked, and you are in for a ride.
Let’s take an example of importance, and let’s figure out the easiest way for the universe to balance it out.
Let’s say I have a high amount of importance placed on getting fit in the gym. I need to get big, and I need to do it fast. Naturally, it requires years of work, consistency, and dedication. If my importance is high, the universe needs a quick and easy way of eliminating this importance you’ve created.
So… which path is easier for the universe?
To give you a fit, jacked physique, one that is fulfilled by lots of time, hard work, money, and physical labour.
To crush your dreams quickly with situations where you will give up the importance due to a hard time getting the thing you so desire.
Contemplate that for a second.
To me, the second choice is obviously easier and quicker for the universe to balance out. See, it’s nothing personal either. The universe does not care if you are left suffering or are experiencing the greatest joy from having something. It simply wants balance.
Reduce your importance, return to being, and your desires will be from love and balance, and as a result, will be fulfilled.
When being is put first
Be - Do - Have
When being comes first, you experience intuition more than ever. The noise from before has been stripped down, and being is the only thing left. That’s where intuition can shine through, and as intuition comes from Truth and love, it’s going to lead you to the right path. You only have to choose.
When being comes first, you get the joy of choosing. You are not stuck anymore in some depressive loop or cycle; you have a choice now. Either you choose to keep suffering, or follow your intuition towards heaven on earth. Suffering serves a function, so it’s okay if you still choose it for some reason. From this place, you can’t choose wrong.
When being comes first, you act from love and peace. Your actions are not there to have material things, get love, get peace, or experience things. Your actions spring forth from love and freedom, which is the best gift you can give to everybody, including yourself. Your actions come from love, not for love, without any expectation of reward.
When being comes first, you get things naturally. Because the being was there before the action, the having becomes non-important, and thus (like we outlined before) easier for the universe to grant. You don’t project importance because you just “are” with or without the thing you desire.
Action steps
We so want to be accepted, loved, successful, and all the things that come with having, that we don’t realize we are already, and already have, all of these things. Just by being human, you already gain your freedom and truth. Freedom in this sense is basically freedom to choose love and safety wherever you go.
So I encourage you, dear reader, to stop playing the game. For this moment, feel into the truth; that you are already all the things you desire to be.
As cliché as it sounds, life is beautiful. Dare to see the beauty in being, and you will lead a happier, more fulfilled life that you want to participate fully in.
Now, I don’t want to leave you with only big picture thinking, even though that’s crucial to understand. Below, I’ve put some action steps for you to integrate “being” more into your life and, as a result, lessen your importance on having.
One important thing to note is that these action steps worked for me, so they might or might not work for you, but how would you know if you never tried? ;)
Meditation - Of course, I need to mention meditation at least one time in a letter about being. I have a lot of experience with meditation, and it’s truly a vital habit if you want to increase mindfulness and awareness in your life and really cherish the moment. Plus, meditation is such a rich and complex topic, so if you begin to research it and experience it for yourself, you can really see how deep it goes.
Mindfulness - A crucial step in being is just being, as stupid as it sounds. What I’m talking about here is just doing less. Don’t fill your time up every day with actions and distractions. See, boredom is a very underutilized state. Boredom brings up triggers (lessons) that you can work on; it cultivates real and authentic intuition if you can effectively differentiate it from fear. Really, it’s only when you can reach this state of mindfulness and clarity that you can authentically connect to your vision & purpose.
Journaling - Diving into the present moment with a pen and a journal is a very nice way to derive clarity for yourself. All day, every day, you think thoughts and images, and your subconscious mind works overtime trying to process it all. It can become quite overwhelming to try to live peacefully without jotting down your thoughts from your head and on paper. I’m prone to getting brain fog if I don’t work out my thoughts with the help of my trusty journal, so I encourage you to try it out for yourself.
Thank you for reading, and I hope this helped you gain some understanding and hopefully lead a more fulfilling life.
If you want to understand the nuances of conditioning & trauma and how you can move through that, read my last letter.
If you read this far, I want to invite you to a free 60-minute call with me. I’m looking for like-minded people to connect with, so if that’s something that interests you, click the button below and have a chat with me. :)
Stay intuitive.
- Your friend, KLEER MIND